The Grant Gurnhill football and mayhem blog.

Dobbie's back! And I'm kicking punditry ass peeps!
Another weekend of Prem madness and yet more randomly weird weirdness!
We start at Sports Direct Head Orifice, where a dithering Ditherfool defence managed to concede to the Shagpies, leaving the loyal (SNIGGER) Loon Army lauding Pugilist Pards for his second coming, whilst the Scousers were scratching their heads wondering where all the Sewerage transfer fee had gone. Well, Brenda can't have spent it all on the shower of shit he put out on Saturday, can he?
Dodgy Rodgers is already playing the 'woe is me' card, telling the press after the game that he was missing 80% of last year's strike-force in Sewerage (although he interestingly refused to say his name, referring to him as 'the player we sold') and the injured Porridge. Sorry Brenda, but who spent all the money on shit players? Last year you slagged Shitspurs off because apparently anyone who spends £100 million should be winning the league. How much you spent? Where are you? Stop whining and turn it around before the Kop turns on your sorry arse!
Next we turn to yet another whiney arse - Whinger Wenger. They finally managed to put to the sword one of the worst Prem teams ever, relying ever more heavily on one-man band Alexkid Sanchez. Despite the piss-poor defence they were up against, Whinger is now lauding The Kid as the new Messi. Leave it out ya daft sod - this lot's defence looked worse than Peter Barlow's. Me mum could have scored past 'em. BURnleY have less chance of scoring than a 50 year old at Jordan’s vow renewal. The point is, that unless Arse-nil come up against some proper opposition, and they will, their defensive frailties won't be exposed for the useless bunch they are. I mean, if Callumnity Chambers can score, even Bolloxtelli has hope...What odds would you get on BURnleY being the first team relegated AT Christmas I wonder...
Chelski meanwhile, continued their ascent of the Prem summit by beating a tasty PQRSTU side that weren't gonna go quietly. Joseki can be happy that they got away with only one goal conceded and all 3 points. Definitely the strongest squad in this league for many a year. I also believe they can hold it together across all fronts this season, as the depth of their squad is quite remarkable. They are certainly the scalp everyone wants this year, but who'll be the first to take it? Answers on a postcard please!
Neverton continue their poor home form with much huffing and puffing at Onesie's front door, but ultimately it was to no avail as honours were even at the death. These2 are looking as though mid-table obscurity is all they'll achieve this season.
Louthampton are looking less like Ditherfool reserves and more like Ditherfool A team at the moment. Flying high in second, they made hard work of Dull in their own backyard, but with only 5 goals conceded so far, Christmas could be a good one for 'em this year.
Best Sandwich Albumen's steady rise from the flames continues under the continually impressive Irvine, admittedly only beating a poor finishing Fester team by an odd goal, but progress is progress, and moving away from the drop zone before the key point of New Year is never a bad thing.
West Shambles’ impressive recent form came to a halt despite a decent battling performance at Steak. More games should be played like this, ending honours even at 2 apiece.
Maybe Twittering Shitspurs should take note of those 2 and how to battle, despite managing a last gasp win reliant on that man 'arry again. Aston Vanilla played them off the park at times, failing due to idiotic behaviour from key man Kenteky Fried Brains and an inability to defend. Nothing new there then. How long will Lambretta last on this form? I'm still betting he'll be gone by 2015. And Vanilla gone down by April.
Lois Delusional Van Hire is still squawking bollocks at Man Reunited. After the performance last season, could anyone possibly have made Moyes look good? Obviously Van Hire took that as a challenge, and at this rate, the Double-Glazers will be looking to re-employ the Chosen One. The ref didn't help - Stevie Wonder wasn't available so they got someone with worse eyesight to officiate. 1-0 flattered Reunited immeasurably, and how anyone thinks Christine Smallbrain is fit to play Sunday league, let alone Premier league, is beyond me. I'm sure Van Hire will continue to smash those Reunited records all season long - but not in a good way...
Finally, on Monday night, we experienced some real old school football, that thankfully the ref took a bac
k seat to and let go. Tackles, battling, cracking finishing and real entertainment ensued. Blunderland finally ran out clear winners, but had to scrap all the way. Reminded me of the 70s and 80s!
And on that bombshell peeps, I’m off to me pit!
Barbie’s out on a Hen night for some slapper who’s on her 6th husband, so I’ll crack a bottle of ‘am shandy and see yaz Friday wi’ me awesome European look back.
Tara fo’ now folks!