Welcome back fellow Gardeners!
Surreal tool-shed fact of the week - There has been a Lawyer's walkout this week - what do you mean you missed it???? Apparently the gathering of striking lawyers was addressed by solicitor Dave Rowntree. Who? you ask. He was the drummer in Blur. You ready for this all you Beetlebums out there? I guess they've all Come Together because they're Fed Up. They think they Got Law but even Money Makes 'em Crazy. They reckon it's worth the Battle because There's No Other Way and though they've undoubtedly Got a File on You, that's All they Want. Let's just hope they Avoid the Traffic On The Way To The Club - the exclusive one where they'll all spend the 'hard-earned' Legal Aid they've accumulated. No wonder they're striking for OUR rights...
Still on the law(n) - I don't know about you but there seems something intrinsically fishy about that Oscar Piscatorius bloke...
Still on the law(n)s - of the beautiful game - Top men at football clubs all over are in the dock - see Bayern Munich for the latest craziness. Over here, Carson Yeung (no relation to Angus or Malcolm) at Birmingham City has received 5 years sharing showers this week for money laundering. He started as a - hair stylist. You can't make this stuff up. On that bombshell (and in no way connected to hair care...) here's our new resident footballroom pundit, Dobbie Savage!
Surreal tool-shed fact of the week - There has been a Lawyer's walkout this week - what do you mean you missed it???? Apparently the gathering of striking lawyers was addressed by solicitor Dave Rowntree. Who? you ask. He was the drummer in Blur. You ready for this all you Beetlebums out there? I guess they've all Come Together because they're Fed Up. They think they Got Law but even Money Makes 'em Crazy. They reckon it's worth the Battle because There's No Other Way and though they've undoubtedly Got a File on You, that's All they Want. Let's just hope they Avoid the Traffic On The Way To The Club - the exclusive one where they'll all spend the 'hard-earned' Legal Aid they've accumulated. No wonder they're striking for OUR rights...
Still on the law(n) - I don't know about you but there seems something intrinsically fishy about that Oscar Piscatorius bloke...
Still on the law(n)s - of the beautiful game - Top men at football clubs all over are in the dock - see Bayern Munich for the latest craziness. Over here, Carson Yeung (no relation to Angus or Malcolm) at Birmingham City has received 5 years sharing showers this week for money laundering. He started as a - hair stylist. You can't make this stuff up. On that bombshell (and in no way connected to hair care...) here's our new resident footballroom pundit, Dobbie Savage!
I'll be trawling through the detritus of the football world to bring you enlightening titbits of the week's discarded fish and chips. No - I don't know what the 'ell I'm on about either.
First, it was good to see Messup Persil finally turn up for a game, and he even scored a goal. Arsenal - the only team who can win the FA Cup without leaving their own city. That's the way the Botox crumbles.
Seems like old Persil has done something to upset his national fans though - he turned up for them, scored and they still booed him off. Oh those Germans and their wonderful sense of humour...
QPR have planned a radical overhaul of their finances after announcing net debt rising to £177,000,000. Apparently they're employing some financial whizzkid called Carson Yeung. Never 'eard of him.
Mike Ashley has sacked Pugilist Pardew and signed a new manager - he used to be lead singer of Chumbawumba or summat. Never 'eard of 'em. Anyway, Ed Butt No Bacon will join the club from Monday - he's got a gig this weekend, but Mike Ashley was insistent on getting the man who he says, was 'on his bucket-list'. Perhaps he'll buy him two Jags...
A survey has revealed that the best job to be in this summer is - central defender. With the sheer amount of clubs, just in the Premiership, who are currently fielding third rate defenders, if you can defend and stand shoulder to shoulder with someone decent, you can name your price. Or your agent's...
Finally, before I leave you (I've got a cut and blow dry booked), my footballroom dance track of the week is - drumroll - Dave Craigid with '7 days' - well played Dave!
'Employed me on Monday
Knocked out the cup on Tuesday
We were relegating on Wednesday
And on Thursday & Friday & Saturday
Sacked me on Sunday.
(Kept paying me for another 3 years though).'
Tara 'till next week peeps!!
Dobbie
First, it was good to see Messup Persil finally turn up for a game, and he even scored a goal. Arsenal - the only team who can win the FA Cup without leaving their own city. That's the way the Botox crumbles.
Seems like old Persil has done something to upset his national fans though - he turned up for them, scored and they still booed him off. Oh those Germans and their wonderful sense of humour...
QPR have planned a radical overhaul of their finances after announcing net debt rising to £177,000,000. Apparently they're employing some financial whizzkid called Carson Yeung. Never 'eard of him.
Mike Ashley has sacked Pugilist Pardew and signed a new manager - he used to be lead singer of Chumbawumba or summat. Never 'eard of 'em. Anyway, Ed Butt No Bacon will join the club from Monday - he's got a gig this weekend, but Mike Ashley was insistent on getting the man who he says, was 'on his bucket-list'. Perhaps he'll buy him two Jags...
A survey has revealed that the best job to be in this summer is - central defender. With the sheer amount of clubs, just in the Premiership, who are currently fielding third rate defenders, if you can defend and stand shoulder to shoulder with someone decent, you can name your price. Or your agent's...
Finally, before I leave you (I've got a cut and blow dry booked), my footballroom dance track of the week is - drumroll - Dave Craigid with '7 days' - well played Dave!
'Employed me on Monday
Knocked out the cup on Tuesday
We were relegating on Wednesday
And on Thursday & Friday & Saturday
Sacked me on Sunday.
(Kept paying me for another 3 years though).'
Tara 'till next week peeps!!
Dobbie
Thanks Dobbie.
Now, we peek into the rhododendrons of televisual delight once more, and this week - reality and talent shows.
I suppose - and I'd like to think that - everyone has dreams. Some are grand, whereas some are seemingly small and mundane. From dreaming of becoming Prime-minister (Nick Clegg no doubt) to dreaming of meeting your perfect love (Jordan dreams this one regularly); no matter what the dream, who are we to scoff? And this is where reality TV shows come in (groan). I loathe and detest them - but, but - I can't help admiring anyone who goes on them. Even the deluded fools who obviously have no talent and can't see that - but they still turn up, dream intact, to suffer the humiliation and rejection; to leave with their dreams of superstardom in tatters. You've got to admire them (but not their - ahem - talent, obviously). But what of the rest? The others who obviously can sing, dance, perform, juggle chainsaws, strip sensuously or whatever? Think of the sheer dedication they put into their dream - think of the sheer hard work and time they commit to pursuing something that in most cases leads nowhere. And yet they continue. I take my hat off to them. Anyone should be entitled to dream, and yes, anyone should be entitled to go on TV and subject us to it (there is an OFF button you know). Dreaming can only be a positive in people's lives, and if it mobilises them to DO something, that can only be life enriching. I salute you all, you wonderful dreamers. Just don't give us anymore Jedwards – please!Final thought before I go back to the Greenhouse of spidery-jeopardy, this week from Lana Turner:
'A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.'
Now, we peek into the rhododendrons of televisual delight once more, and this week - reality and talent shows.
I suppose - and I'd like to think that - everyone has dreams. Some are grand, whereas some are seemingly small and mundane. From dreaming of becoming Prime-minister (Nick Clegg no doubt) to dreaming of meeting your perfect love (Jordan dreams this one regularly); no matter what the dream, who are we to scoff? And this is where reality TV shows come in (groan). I loathe and detest them - but, but - I can't help admiring anyone who goes on them. Even the deluded fools who obviously have no talent and can't see that - but they still turn up, dream intact, to suffer the humiliation and rejection; to leave with their dreams of superstardom in tatters. You've got to admire them (but not their - ahem - talent, obviously). But what of the rest? The others who obviously can sing, dance, perform, juggle chainsaws, strip sensuously or whatever? Think of the sheer dedication they put into their dream - think of the sheer hard work and time they commit to pursuing something that in most cases leads nowhere. And yet they continue. I take my hat off to them. Anyone should be entitled to dream, and yes, anyone should be entitled to go on TV and subject us to it (there is an OFF button you know). Dreaming can only be a positive in people's lives, and if it mobilises them to DO something, that can only be life enriching. I salute you all, you wonderful dreamers. Just don't give us anymore Jedwards – please!Final thought before I go back to the Greenhouse of spidery-jeopardy, this week from Lana Turner:
'A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.'
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