First topic whirling round the Gardens on the ride-on mower is the beautiful game - no, not Risk - I'm sure the Crimea will play a big enough part in that. Football!
Weird fact one: Sam All-the-dice is apparently the 4th highest paid manager in the Prem. Scoff not. He's also the 16th highest paid manager in Europe. Now who's laughing? All the way to the bank. Football management - the only job where failure will get you a better job and a better paid job. Except for those other Bankers - the bankers. Makes you wonder if Sam is very money-savvy - or if he's got a secret stash of some saucy snaps that Dullivan and Old don't want made public - now that would be ironic...
Not a weird fact two: Jose Chelski is at it again. There are four or five teams who are favourite to win the Champion's League according to the Love-god of Stam-stam-stammering Bridge. Sorry Jose - technically there can only ever be ONE favourite if there can only be ONE winner. Guess it got lost in translation there Mr Chelski. Mind games not working as they should, mateski? Never mind - but plaudits for your performance - one worthy of a South African Oscar...
Now for the clippings from the rhododendrons of televisual delight:
TV puzzler of the day - BBC3 is being axed because the BBC need to meet the budget cuts imposed by the coalition. Makes sense to stop paying for something if you need to save money. However, they've just announced that half of the money saved from axing BBC3 will be used on BBC1 programming. Sorry? So you're still spending half of the money saved - just elsewhere... so how are you saving the whole budget of BBC3 by axing it if you're still spending the cash elsewhere? D'oh. It's like the wife saving money by not buying a handbag this week - oh, but she's bought an extra pair of shoes instead.
Talking of the wife, she's in the press this month. Please check out her write-up in Papercraft Inspirations Magazine issue 124
or her blog at nellieshandmadecards.blogspot.co.uk
TV puzzler of the week - Is Match of the Day becoming the new Rambo? "Coming soon - 'MOTD 6'"
Thinking of sports presenters, please raise a glass to John Arlott (1914-1991) who was born 100 years ago this week. Cheers John and thanks for all the childhood memories of your masterful presentation.
Now, Wonders of the World hits the Gardens this week - no, it's not how has Wayne 'shoot from 25 yards and hit the corner flag for 300 grand a Weekey' or Chris Appalling (how the hell is he in the Manc team, let alone the England team). I'm talking of course, of the masterful genius that is Simon Love Me Love Me Love Me Cowell. Love him indeed, or hate him - you can't deny his genius. Ever hear the X-Factor theme tune? I do - in my nightmares; but I digress. There is a voice in the background that says 'X-Factor.' That is Simon Cowbag. And for doing that, he receives a writing credit, and performance credit everytime the theme-tune is played. Every time. EVERY time. Genius. Almost as good as Tracey Dullman (she of '3 of a Kind' fame with Lenny Nite Nite Henry and some guy who nicked David Copperfield's name - can't remember him myself - no, not many do remember it - or him). I digress again. Back in the last century she moved to the States and had her own TV show. A cartoon maker had a new cartoon and wanted to get it on TV. They approached Tracey Ullman and asked if he could have a 5 minute slot on her show. She agreed - in return for a paltry, meagre, infinitesimal 5% of the show and all its profits. Good deal for the cartoon maker? It was indeed. But for Tracey, who subsequently has had to contribute NOTHING to the cartoon, it was even better. The cartoon in question? The Simpsons. You may have heard of it...
As Lenny would say, here in the Gardens it's nearly time for bed, so I leave you with news of a new guest contributor joining us next week. Fresh from a stint as footballroom and Tango coach at Warthog's Academy for distressed young madams, we would like to welcome Dobbie Savage!
Final thought of the week goes to one of our grand old ladies of literature, who once, when challenged at a dinner party, came out with the immortal words:
"You can take a horticulture, but you cannot make her think."
Thank you and Goodnight!
Weird fact one: Sam All-the-dice is apparently the 4th highest paid manager in the Prem. Scoff not. He's also the 16th highest paid manager in Europe. Now who's laughing? All the way to the bank. Football management - the only job where failure will get you a better job and a better paid job. Except for those other Bankers - the bankers. Makes you wonder if Sam is very money-savvy - or if he's got a secret stash of some saucy snaps that Dullivan and Old don't want made public - now that would be ironic...
Not a weird fact two: Jose Chelski is at it again. There are four or five teams who are favourite to win the Champion's League according to the Love-god of Stam-stam-stammering Bridge. Sorry Jose - technically there can only ever be ONE favourite if there can only be ONE winner. Guess it got lost in translation there Mr Chelski. Mind games not working as they should, mateski? Never mind - but plaudits for your performance - one worthy of a South African Oscar...
Now for the clippings from the rhododendrons of televisual delight:
TV puzzler of the day - BBC3 is being axed because the BBC need to meet the budget cuts imposed by the coalition. Makes sense to stop paying for something if you need to save money. However, they've just announced that half of the money saved from axing BBC3 will be used on BBC1 programming. Sorry? So you're still spending half of the money saved - just elsewhere... so how are you saving the whole budget of BBC3 by axing it if you're still spending the cash elsewhere? D'oh. It's like the wife saving money by not buying a handbag this week - oh, but she's bought an extra pair of shoes instead.
Talking of the wife, she's in the press this month. Please check out her write-up in Papercraft Inspirations Magazine issue 124
or her blog at nellieshandmadecards.blogspot.co.uk
TV puzzler of the week - Is Match of the Day becoming the new Rambo? "Coming soon - 'MOTD 6'"
Thinking of sports presenters, please raise a glass to John Arlott (1914-1991) who was born 100 years ago this week. Cheers John and thanks for all the childhood memories of your masterful presentation.
Now, Wonders of the World hits the Gardens this week - no, it's not how has Wayne 'shoot from 25 yards and hit the corner flag for 300 grand a Weekey' or Chris Appalling (how the hell is he in the Manc team, let alone the England team). I'm talking of course, of the masterful genius that is Simon Love Me Love Me Love Me Cowell. Love him indeed, or hate him - you can't deny his genius. Ever hear the X-Factor theme tune? I do - in my nightmares; but I digress. There is a voice in the background that says 'X-Factor.' That is Simon Cowbag. And for doing that, he receives a writing credit, and performance credit everytime the theme-tune is played. Every time. EVERY time. Genius. Almost as good as Tracey Dullman (she of '3 of a Kind' fame with Lenny Nite Nite Henry and some guy who nicked David Copperfield's name - can't remember him myself - no, not many do remember it - or him). I digress again. Back in the last century she moved to the States and had her own TV show. A cartoon maker had a new cartoon and wanted to get it on TV. They approached Tracey Ullman and asked if he could have a 5 minute slot on her show. She agreed - in return for a paltry, meagre, infinitesimal 5% of the show and all its profits. Good deal for the cartoon maker? It was indeed. But for Tracey, who subsequently has had to contribute NOTHING to the cartoon, it was even better. The cartoon in question? The Simpsons. You may have heard of it...
As Lenny would say, here in the Gardens it's nearly time for bed, so I leave you with news of a new guest contributor joining us next week. Fresh from a stint as footballroom and Tango coach at Warthog's Academy for distressed young madams, we would like to welcome Dobbie Savage!
Final thought of the week goes to one of our grand old ladies of literature, who once, when challenged at a dinner party, came out with the immortal words:
"You can take a horticulture, but you cannot make her think."
Thank you and Goodnight!
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