The Grant Gurnhill football and mayhem blog.

Aye-oop peeps! ‘Tis I, once more - Dobster of the punditry genius!
Let’s take a look at the ‘appenings in the Prem this weekend so far:
Looks like Manchester aren’t quite Re-united with the habits of good football and winning points yet. Onesie pulled off a shocker and did ‘em at their own place no less. Onesie had twosie in the net, with Looney’s o’er’ead kick being a mere consolation. Re-united’s defence was as good as my local flood measures holding back the Pacific. More holes than a rusty colander. I’ve said it forever and I’ll keep saying it till the end of another season by the look of it - Jones and Smalling are not worthy of a Re-united shirt, let alone an England one. Van Hire needs to sort this lot and sharpish, cos when the big boys come to town, they’ll tear these jokers apart.
The new boys of Crispville gave the Toffees a damn good game, using home advantage to good - er…advantage. Even stevens and all was fair in foot and ball.
Dull showed why they’ll consolidate their position in the Prem this season after the shrewd signings they’ve made. PQRSTU showed the same regarding returning to the Chumpionship.
Steak City were undone, at home surprisingly, by Vanilla’s stalwart Mr Dependable. Gonna be a long season for both teams.
West Sandwich Albumen played a thriller with Blunderland, who pulled yet another Larsson goal from his aching legs. Berahino’s looking a good player for Albumen to wrap in cotton wool already...
Twittering Shitspurs relied on a defender getting fed up with the toothless dross in front of him, and on his way to swap shirts with the Shambles keeper, inadvertently poking the ball into an empty net for the winner. More rubbish from Spurs, more of the same old, same old from Shambles.
Arse-nil dropped off from their performance of last week and came up against a determined Chrysophase Palace side that just don’t have the quality. Arse-nil will do well on this performance, and if they can get and keep Sanchez up to his potential.
Unsurprisingly, Ditherfool managed to see off their A team - no, B team - wait; A team - bugger me; I’m that confused that I don’t know if all 3 goals in this one will be classed as OGs or what! Made a meal of it though; they’d better hope indigestion don’t kick in next Monday night...
Finally, Mantreasurechester City put Pewkcastle to the sword with the widest margin of the weekend - so far. It was hard won though, City showing definite signs of improvement now that nearly their full first team are back on duty. The Pewks were excellent on the day; the plan worked well, they worked hard and threatened at times. If they can get their lone striker some support and get him scoring, they’ll do well this season. Their usual problem comes when playing teams outside the top 6 - performance and effort drops and they drop valuable points that cost them over the course of a season. Easy to put in a top performance when you’re not expected to win and have nothing to lose. Fight in the meat-grinder of the bottom half and it’s a different story.
So, the weekend ends with Mantreasurechester City top of the tree on goal difference - but don’t rely on it staying that way. When Chelski bury Bury in their own backyard tomorrow night, a different shade of Blue will top the Prem.
I’ll be back later in the week wi’ me predictions for next weekend, including the teatime Toffees agen Arse-nil, and Monday’s monumental clash o’ Ditherfool and Mantreasurechester City. Could be, should be - but will it be - a Classic!
Tata fo’ now peeps!