The Grant Gurnhill football and mayhem blog.

Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! Hiya peeps - I’m back! An’ I’m kicking punditry butt just like when I was in the Prem, like!
So folksies, let’s ‘ave a look at this weekend’s shenanigans in the Prem.
Well, if this is an advert for the Prem, it ain’t selling, if you know what I mean. And if you’ve watched the dross so far, you will.
Just to prove me point, we’ll start wi’ the goalless snore draw that was Aston Vanilla vs Pewkcastle. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Nuff said.
Chelski put the awesome (guffaw) Double Leicester to the sword. Lack of striker quality is deffo gonna cost the teams coming up - in this league if you get a chance, you gotta take it. The opposition will. Costa can calm down though - two lucky tap-ins against BURnleY and the Crispnickers don’t pay your transfer fee off sonny-jim. Chelski for the title? They’ve hardly been tested yet now have they? Sterner challenges to come, mark my words.
Chrysophase Palace showed what a few years battling in the Prem survival zone will do for you by letting old stalwarts West Shambles beat ‘em at home. Poor, poor, poor.
Louthampton vs West Sandwich Albumen? So boring I fell asleep halfway through writing that sentence. Goalless snore draw. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Onesie pulled it off at home and buried the new Bury by a single strike. In this league boys, that’s enough for 3 points all day long. Steep learning curve guys. And you’re already on the downslope.
Neverton are aptly named ‘cos if they manage to hold a lead or win a game it’ll be a bloody miracle.
2 games, 2 x 2-2. Are the Toffees having a laugh at their own expense?
Dull and Steak City fought out a draw with an early sending off and some bizarre Stevie
Wonderesque refereeing. Come back Howard, all is (almost) forgiven!
Twittering Shitspurs put PQRSTU to the sword to leave Harry ringing his accountant and lawyer. I’m
a celebrity - get me outta here! What’s the betting that Shitspurs get a pummeling in their next
game?
Blunderland vs Manchester still not Reunited? Do me a favour! Van Hire’s turning into the new Arsey
Whinger - and I bet he wishes he had gone to Ares-nil instead of Old Trafford now that he’s making
Moyes look good. Oh wait - Ave Maria is on his way - that’s it then - clean sweep of all trophies now.
Stop panicking Mancs (sorry, wrong fans) - I mean all Man Reunited fans - with the Messiah on his
way your season is saved. How do you spell ‘delusional’?
Perhaps the only high point of the entire Bank Holiday weekend has got to be the
Ditherfool/Mantreasurechester City game. This was a fantastic spectacle of 2 of the best 3 squads in
the Prem going head to head. These 2 will finish first and second again. Don’t let the scoreline flatter
City - Ditherfool had plenty of chances and only poor decision making and finishing in the box left
them pointless from this epic battle. It was like watching 2 master swordsmen playing chess… As
everyone knew before the season started, The Dithers were always gonna miss the buck-toothed
master finisher - and they certainly needed his class and talent tonight as the protégés came up
short. If only the rest of the Prem (outside of Chelski) could entertain us like this! Here’s to the
return match!
And on that final high note, I will bid y’all tara.
Final prayer before bed peeps - please someone make this season get better than this weekend -
else it’s gonna be a long, long 9 months peeps…
Tata for now. Try not to be too disillusioned folks. It can’t get worse…Surely…