World Cup Final review

Dobbie is back from Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazil wi’ a heck of a tan and itchy pants (but that’s another story - she were very butch though…).
And so the World Cupeo ground to a halt wi’ the eventual winners Germany overcoming all-comers to grab the trophy and seal another star on their shirts.
Argentina - especially Higuerotten - will be kicking - and probably missing - themselves after such lacklustre finishing in front of the onion bag. Germany had 3 attempts on target first half - the Argies none! And yet Germany coulda bin 3 down by then! Bloomin’ ‘eck I tell thee! Cracking finish to quite an exciting game though - heading for penalties before an awesome strike by beardy wonder Goatie handed the trophy to the Germans. And Messi still got Golden Ball for player o’ tournament - eh?
As Kurt Cobain once said - Nevermind.
So - back to reality and the Prem! Wi’ several weeks to go afore the league kicks off, I thought I’d cast me expert eye o’er the comings and goings at the teams lined up agen each other next season. It’ll be interesting to see how me punditry and predictions o’ last season have unhinged the managers trying desperately to make it through a full season unsacked, and affected their transfer policies and targets. Not to mention what donkeys I slammed they’ve wised up to and decided to offload instead o’ carrying the idle turds another season (Mourinho obviously read me blog last year…). In order to be democratic (whatever that is, but it sounds good, as Tony Blair once said to me), I’m gonna look at ‘em in alphabetispaghetti order. Or summat. And I’m gonna be looking at how many players they’ve got in their entire squads that are home-grown. Should be an eye-oppener.

Here goes peeps - hang on tight to yer britches.
Arsenil - 36 players, 4 home-grown, no Loan-in players. Have 11 players yet to start a game for ‘em. Biggest transfer? Must be Alexis Sanchez, up front. And he’s got to be better than Mr Potatohead himself - Oliver Gourd.
Aston Vanilla - 35 players, 12 home-grown, no Loan-in players yet. Have 7 players still to start a game for ‘em. Biggest transfer? Believe it or not - Joe Coleslaw, midfield.
Burnsley - 29 players, 2 home-grown, no Loan-in players yet. Have 28 - yes, 28 - players still to start a game for ‘em. Biggest transfer? Ross William Braveheart Wallace? Your guess is as good as mine peeps. This could be an unmitigated disaster with this much coming and going and the first season back in the big time. Or they could do a Blackpool in their first season. Be worth a cheeky punt at the bookies to stay up. But I wouldn’t put me mortgage on ‘em.
Chelski - 41 players, 4 home-grown, Loan-in players? As if! Have 14 players still to start a game for ‘em. Biggest transfer? Cesc Faberge could be one of the players of the Prem this season. Maybe. And at least they robbed - I mean ‘sold’ - PSG that wonderkid of the World Cup, David Sideshow Bob Luiz. Cough, cough, cough…
Chrysophase Palace - 30 players, 11 home-grown, no Loan-in players as of now. Have 7 players yet to start a game for ‘em. Biggest transfer? Well, they seem to like young England players - Jack Hunt could be a diamond ready to shine. Time will tell.
That’s it for tonight peeps. I’m off to me cot for a well deserved shag - I mean - kip. Bloody jet-lag does me every time I tell thee.
Be back tomorrow wi’ me next lot o’ incitefullness - yes, you read that word reet. Tata for now peeps!
Dobbie