The Grant Gurnhill football and mayhem blog.

The Dobmeister is back and this time it's personal! Get ur coat Lambretta! Wenger, u are the weakest link - you're fired! Hohoho. Christmas is coming and Sam is getting fat!
Hello, good evening and welcome footie fans! Tis I, the Dobster, spinning those punditry plates like a spinning-plate-man type thingy.
First game under review in me blog is that there shower Ditherfool, who once more managed to throw away all 3 points with an inept display, losing 2-1, although they were playing the Champions elect. Whining about a penalty decision in a game that was so full of incident won't save Brenda from the naysayers in the Kop who are starting to wonder if he's up to it. The Fools have now scored less goals than they've conceded, so was selling He-who-shall-not-be-named such a good idea after all, if you're not gonna invest the money in a decent replacement? Joseki meanwhile, marches on with his formidable squad, although those foolhardy enough to believe they'll last the season undefeated are purely delusional.
Hold the front pages! BURnleY have finally won a game! And it wasn’t against a Conference side in the FA Cup… Okay, so 1-0 won’t save their season, but it’s at least a clean sheet. Next week, the Second Coming, Wenger smiles after a game, a banker acts honest, Katie Price marries for love, and Lois Van Hire talks sense about just how shite Man Reunited really are.
Talking about Reunited, they actually managed a win, albeit 1-0 - against Chrysophase Palace, another team who should be as aggrieved as - well, basically everyone in the Premiership. Let’s face it, the refs aren’t setting any new records for raising the standards. At this rate, the FA will be drafting Italian refs in to keep the games honest…
Louthampton, or Ditherfool A Team as they’re now known, stumbled rather than marched on in the dizzying heights of second place with a 2-0 defeat of the Crispnickers. They made hard work of a Fester team that quite simply aren’t at Prem level, particularly and painfully in attack. The best point of the performance was yet another clean sheet for the Louts. These guys are tighter than a nun’s chuff.
Surprisingly, West Shambles huffed and puffed at home to Aston Vanilla (or Chumpionship fodder as we now know them.). 0 boring 0. Only 6 weeks to Christmas, so Lambretta needs to buy his prezzies now while he’s still got a job…
Mantreasurechester City once more came close to falling foul of a team that they really should be putting to the sword, PQRSTU. 2-2, and I promise that I won’t mention referees or decisions again during the blog, as it’s becoming ridiculously easy to slam them, and, frankly peeps, it’s boring me now. Final word on the matter is - FA; sort this shower of shit out. Or charge them for bringing the game into disrepute. The skrets.
Sunday brought the day of remembrance. Respect.
The Tim Howard comedy roadshow rolled into Blunderland and almost came unstuck once more. These 2 have leakier defences than Holland’s dykes. No, not those dykes…1-1 was probably fair enough.
Twittering Shitspurs’ mega-millions still can’t win a game, losing to Steak City 2-1 - yes, you read that right, Steak City, at Shite Fart Lane. PottyGino is pottier than ever, and in danger of beating Lambretta to the job centre. Clueless.
Pewkcastle’s sudden resurgence roared on, Pugilist Pards now Christ Risen from the dead. Putting Best Sandwich Albumen to the sword 2-0 may be a real tonic that will drag them to safety by Christmas. Pewks fans fickle? Bah!
Final laugh-athon of the weekend’s games was a case of saving the best to last - unless you’re an Arse-nil fan. Whinger once more watched his hopeless hapless idiots throw away 3 more points and lose to Onesie. Highlight of the day was Boney M being subbed, walking off in a strop thinking he could have won the game for them, then standing on the touchline watching his replacement do just that with just 2 minutes on the pitch. Priceless! Taxi for BooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
So we reach the break peeps, and I will leave you for a short while, and go entertain Barbie with me ball skills. Hers aren’t bad either. Ooooof!
Tara for now!