Lost in the Gardens of Misrule!

Welcome back to the blog after a short hiatus and straight to straight-talking ace footballroom pundit Dobbie Savage!

Cheers as ever Russ.

Aye-oop peeps!

Well, what a few weeks it’s bin, annit?

Let’s start with Arsey Whinger winning the FA Cupansaucer. So Jose Chelski said the whining Frenchman was practiced in failure. This from a whining Porthole who’s won bugger all for a couple o’ seasons. D’oh - nut.

The play-offs. Can’t believe me beloved Derby fell at the last hurdle, against a team of has-beens. Shocking ain’t the word. Cried into me vino all night, I did. Ah well. I can’t see QPArghhhhhhhh! Doing much good unless Scarey Redcap changes his transfer policy. It’s like some Japanese samurai movie innit? You know - the band of outcasts and misfits forming a gang and roaming the Prem trying to rob points here and there just to survive… They’ll be going down faster than a cheap granny on Wayne Looney! And news just in - Redcap wants Lamprey from Chelski and Riodejaneiro from Man Reunited - oh dear… guess he hasn’t learned.

Well done to Rotherhamsandwich for beating The O’s in their play-off final on pennoes. So it’s now Cheeri - O to the O’s and another good old Yorkie Pudding club goes from strength to strength. Get in there lads!

So Mirkwood continue their astounding romp upwards through the leagues to the consternation of Firkin Albumen in the play-offs. Albumen may feel robbed at the manner of the defeat - and be crying for tossing it away yet again at the last hurdle, but good luck to the Mirks for an amazing display of never-say-die derring-do. Anyone bet against ‘em going up AGAIN next season? The odds are against it but that ain’t stopped ‘em yet! Good on you - just hope Grimesby don’t take inspiration from it!

And now to the transfer window, where we peer into the front-room of comings and goings and focus on the players for once, instead of the managers.

Boloxtelli to Ditherfool or Arse-nil? Do me a favour! Shows that Arsey and Brendan Divorcemedivorceme  are short on ideas. The Fools have also been linked with Llama (as well as trying to sign half of Lout-hampton’s other players too). I’d be worried if I was currently in Ditherfool’s frontline and heard he’s looking for more strikers, cos I’ve said it all along - Luis Sewerage is leaving - get over it! It might be good for Ares-nil to get Boloxtelli though seeing as though they have no strikers - and no bollox…

Now - the world’s gone mad! Tom Inch-high-private-eye is going to Inter Milan? Get away! Insanity!

Talking about insanity - Chelski want DiddlerDrogba back - I don’t need to comment on that - it’s hilarious as it is bearing in mind the strikers they have already and the money they’ve spent on them!LMAO. They’ve also supposedly sealed the deal on Diego Costacoffee - the injured striker who costapacket for Chelski, and costa Champion’s League title for Diego Simon-says last weekend. Crazy gamble - play for 7 minutes then go off, instead of Simon-says putting out the team he had and playing tactics to suit them. Madness!

Onesie want £25million for Winifred Boneless - crazy money for an unproven forward who’s now a known quantity at this level. Doesn’t anyone ever learn from Chelski’s striker buys?

David fLuidz from Chelski to MSG for 50million - I assume that’s pence… They obviously want to increase their quota of own goals and assists to the opposition this season.

Lois Van-hire at Man Reunited continues where Moyles left off - no, not the Radio 1 breakfast show. He’s showing interest in more Neverton players. Guess he doesn’t want to be in Europe anymore - he just wants to paddle about mid-table trying to over-achieve. The new Reunited blueprint for success - in the Championship. Unless of course this is all genius misdirection to deflect his interest in virtually the entire Buyer Munter squad - I kid you not. Can’t buy a title? Then buy a title-winning team, mate!

Tittering Shitspurs continue their clueless ditherings in the transfer market with Erik Labia (failed striker - striker? You’re having a laugh!) andChiriririririches looking at moves away. Who said rats and sinking ship?

I see Thom Not-so Cleverly’s leaving Reunited for Gateautasary this summer - why not? He’ll be spending his summer on a beach in Turkey anyway - England player my arse!

And finally - it’ll be interesting to see at the end of this summer, what with the World Cup et al, just how many players from the Prem that Paris Aren’t German (Or MSG for short), those powerhouses of international banking (with a B), hoover up in this transfer window.Financial fair play rules?Ooooh matron!

That’s all for now peeps!

I’ll be back soon with an update on The England squad for the World Cup, and an exclusive sneak preview video of the England camp!

Tara for na!