The Grant Gurnhill football and mayhem blog.

Arggggggggggggggggggggggggh! I’m back agen peeps! And sad to say, this is the last part o’ me inciteful - you know the score by now - look inta the teams in the Prem, finishing off wi’ the last but not least 5 teams.
To kick us off today we ‘ave those stalwarts of second-hand bargain basement players, Blunderland. They’ve only 26 players in the squad; 8 are homegrown, none on loan yet, but they will be. Only 6 of this lot are yet to start a game for the team. Biggest transfer? Well, I don’t see Moberg-Karlsson lighting up the Prem this season; although long-term he could be as important to them as Larsson’s been. Jordi Gomez may have a point or two to prove…
Next it’s Onesie City - as in ‘one season more and they’ll be in the Championship’. The wheels well and truly came off last season, and I don’t see them trying too hard in the transfer market to gain a reprieve from relegation this time around. They’ve still got a total of 32 players in the squad; yet only 8 are homegrown, none on loan yet. Only 8 of this lot are yet to start a game for the team. Biggest transfer? No marquee signings, unless you dredge the barrel for Fabianski in goal. Gomis may have turned a couple of heads this summer, but can he make the transition to English football? The jury’s still on holiday.
Now, on to Tittering Shitspurs. They’ve got a total of 35 players in the squad; and yet again, only 8 are homegrown, none on loan. Only 6 of this lot are yet to start a game for the team; not surprising after the massive influx of nobodies on the back of the Bale money last season. Biggest transfer? None, unsurprisingly. And after last season’s total cock-up, would any diamonds actually shine, buried in this pile of flotsam and jetsam?
Second to last, we come upon those mid-table maestros, West Sandwich Albumen. A staggeringly low 23 players in the squad; you can bet your bottom dollar there’ll be an influx come the window close, including a few loanees no doubt. 9 are homegrown, which is actually a good percentage compared to most teams. 7 of this lot are yet to start a game for the Albumen. Biggest transfer? At this ground, it’s never gonna happen, but no doubt the combination of the players that have come in to bolster the squad will prove effective, especially Lescott if he can stay fit.
Finally we come to the cannon fodder that is going to be; West Shambles. Gold-enballs and Dullivan will no doubt cock it up again, and no doubt they’ll make Big Sam pay for it before the season’s out. They’ve got a total of 28 players in the squad; but they’re gonna need Morrison fit again if they have any hope of surviving. A commendable 11 of this lot are homegrown, none on loan (yet of course). 9 of this 28 are yet to start a game for the team. Biggest transfer? Big Sam will need to hope that Mauro Zárate hits the ground running, adapts quickly and doesn’t get injured. Lletget could prove to be an important playmaker and cover for the defence from midfield, and old-boy Carroll must be due a good season for once if he’s not to be found back in the Championship next season, whether it’s with the Shambles or elsewhere.
And, for the final time, that’s it for tonight peeps. I’m off to me cot for a well-deserved shandy. Any o’ that lube left love?
See thee later wi’ me update on the shenanigans o’ Prem movers and shakers leading up to kick off in a few week’s time! It’s goona be imotionul - apparently. Ciao for now peeps!
Dobbie