Tuesday 22 July 2014

The Grant Gurnhill football and mayhem blog.

Wayup peeps! I’m back already cos I’ve got an axe to grind wi’ the old Gentlemen’s club they call the FA. The initials sum up what they’re worth and do…
Anyway, a while ago I cast me eye over the new FA theory of how to encourage English players and youth in the leagues. Football Association chairman Greg Dyke outlined plans to introduce a division for Premier League 'B teams' beneath League Two. Fussball Dissociation chairbaker Greggs Bike decided that what footie needs is a new division consisting of Premier League 'B teams'. Despite the fact from mid-table downwards the Prem is already full of B teams.
 The Fussball Dissociation commissars, namely Bike’s sidekicks Roland Rat and Kevin the Gerbil, reckon that this is to ‘improve English football and increase the number of home-grown players competing in the top flight’. How do these footballing geniuses plan on doing this you may ask. By implementing a new 'League Three' - their words - beneath League Two. This 'League Three', containing the 'B teams' would be ‘subject to promotion and relegation’. To quote the pastie-man himself: "We have had a lot of interest and enthusiasm from the big Premier League clubs about having B teams in a lower division. Liverpool, the Manchester clubs, Stoke, Tottenham have no problems in talking about it (key point here folks) and recognise the problems they have got. They are spending lots of money on youth development but don't have anywhere for these players to play before the first team.” Insert your own punchline folks.
 He went on to say that: "It was agreed that by 2022 our target should be that there are 90 English players playing regularly in the top European leagues, compared with 66 today, and of those 90 we would want at least 30 playing in the top six teams." Keep those punchlines coming peeps.
 Apparently, because this doesn’t already happen (?) the Fussball Dissociation commissars proposed loan partnerships between Premier League, Championship and lower league teams, as well as a reduction in non-home-grown players in top flight squads from 17 to 12 over five years. And this will benefit the England football team apparently, something that we will always have, cos it’s a national team. Every country has ‘em. Just because England don’t win bugger all, is that a reason to undermine the Premiership and its appeal to a world market? England still won’t win anything. The best English players will still move where they like for their own reasons. You only have to watch the World Cup calamity to realise that pulling on that jersey when you know you’ll win bugger all isn’t what it used to be. Play for England or for the sponsorship deals and wages that Prem clubs pay? Interesting. NOW, folks, I’ve been lookin’ at the squads in the Prem and how many home-grown players each has at this moment in time - and it works out that they have between them 621 squad members. How many are home-grown I ‘ear you ask? 152 - yes, 152. Now, we’re not talking top class footballers here - it includes all levels and all ages, and frankly, if you look closely at how many are capable of playing at the top level in the top European leagues, let alone the top 6 teams, you’ll cry. Mr Dyke sir, with the likes of QPR including, no, zip, nada, home-grown players in their squad, and Leicester having a lonely, sad individual, you have a hell of a job on. Better put down that cigar and brandy, pull your tongue from Sepp’s arse-cheeks, roll your sleeves up and get working. Or make yet another mess and laughing stock of the England team in 2022.
P.S. I told you Gerrard would retire, back in May. So there.
(insert your own raspberry sound here).
Tata for na peeps!

Dobbie

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