Tuesday 17 March 2015

The Grant Gurnhill football and mayhem blog.

Ay-ay salty seadogs o' sacked managers peeps! Dobbie ‘s back agen wi’ this week’s super Prem blog!
Starting wi' Saturday's games, we saw a few games that could spin the topsy-turvy table-struggling bottom-dwellers on their heads and start a few sphincters squeaking in the bookies' ranks. Chrysophase Palace's resurrection under Pugilist Pards continued apace by slamming 3 goals past a truly terrible PQRSTU in 45 minutes, a position that the Hoops were punch-drunk from come the second half, a half where Palace pulled the deck-chairs out and relaxed enough to concede a goal back. Still a bridge too far as PQRSTU went down 3-1. That first half performance may come back to haunt them in a couple of months, especially if they repeat it before the season's end; the Hoops are the worst team of the season so far on paper. Gird your loins boys, or prepare for the Chumpionship. Palace, meanwhile, are looking at the great escape.
If Palace's resurrection at the bottom is quite a thing to behold, at the other end is the change in fortunes of Best Sham and Arsenal. The former are starting to falter in their quest for Europe, whilst Arsenal are beginning to cement their claim to Chumpion's League football  for yet another season after putting the Claret and Blues through the wringer 3-0. Arsey Whinger's staking his shirt on a few more years in charge at this rate - all he needs now is a trophy to calm the fans.
Back at the bottom, Fester City and Dull City lived up to their names with a goalless bore-draw - not a result that really suited either, as at this point, 3 points are a golden chalice of hope for staying in the promised land of mega-millions for next season. Keep fighting lads - this battle ain't over yet.
Biggest surprise of the season? Biggest surprise of the weekend! Nasty Vanilla equalled their entire season's away goal tally in 45 mental minutes as the walking nightmare that is Blunderland showed just how much they wanted to get Gus Poyntless the sack. Sherwoodforest has done something, possibly illegal (allegedly), to turn the hopeless dimwits under his care into a power-force of points and goal grabbers capable of not just winning a game, but scoring 4 and keeping a clean sheet. Whereas it looks like Blunderland's players are all on Ketamine. Patience with the Poyntless Gus finally ran out, and rumours abound that Jesus is coming back at Easter to resurrect the Blunder's chances of avoiding the drop. That will be a miracle worth seeing.
After all the excitement at the Stadium of Shite, Best Sandwich Albumen's 1-0 conquering of Steak City seemed a tame affair. The Albumen won't care though, as their rise continues in its own quiet but effective way.
The next result would have been a shocker of epic proportions if it weren't for 2 points; Vanilla's stunning turn-around in performance, and the fact that we've watched Mantreasurechester City cock up time and again this season. BURnleY are a battling team, that we all know, but against the mega-star mega-billions of City? Pellicani won't have a job come the summer - Barca are odds on to kick 'em out of Europe this week, and the Prem trophy is slowly slipping through their grasp. Georgio Boyd's finish was a cracker, something he practices by all accounts, but City's inability to break BURnleY down or find the net with the firepower they have is nothing short of reprehensible. It'll be interesting to see who's in the hot-seat at City next season.
Whilst the Chelski fans had the cigars out after watching City stall yet again in their pursuit of a second successive title, perhaps the Blues themselves should have learned from BURnleY's effectiveness in defence as they eventually struggled to break down a resolute Louthampton side that had come back from a goal down to battle manly for all 3 points. At 1-1, Chelski walked away another point ahead of the chasing pack, but must be kicking themselves for passing up the extra 2 they could have got by better attacking play.
Third biggest surprise of the weekend remains yet another team who seem to have suddenly realised that the trapdoor is now firmly under their feet with less than a dozen games to go. Neverton seem to have woken up from their European dream to have spotted the cracks beneath their Premiership status. Pulling up their socks at last, they pulled out a convincing 3-0 win against a less-than convincing Pewkastle team that look less than bothered as they look pointlessly up the table, and unconcernedly downwards. If the Pewks aren't careful, they could quickly become embroiled in the relegation battle as the odd results come thick and fast now.
Final game of the Sunday fixtures saw another 2 teams with a sudden change in performance and result. Man Reunited woke up and found the net 3 times in the first half, whilst Pottygeno's pillocks were sleepwalking through the game at Mouldy Trafford. Where were the players who've put Twittering Shitspurs in contention for Europe? They certainly weren't on the pitch on Sunday. Reunited should have buried them deeper than 3-0, but it wasn't Looney who was punch-drunk by the end of the first 45. Spurs had no reply at all after the break, and Reunited seemed adamant they wanted to keep David Ge Gear by blocking his net to keep him smiling rather than growling, as in past games. The discontented keeper may be getting courted from abroad, but if Reunited can turn their consistency around and keep his sheets clean, he may yet stay. Spurs must improve, as they can't play this badly again; surely?
Monday night footie brought us Onesie hosting Ditherfool deep in the Welsh valleys, in another game decided by the single goal, this time in the Dithers' favour as they search for Chumpion's League football again.
And that’s it peeps! Surprises aplenty as the fight for survival heats up, even as Chelski start to very slowly pull away to the title. What fun!
And so to a new feature o' me awesome blog, and chance for you to have your say peeps!
This week I'm asking who YOU think will get relegated this season. It's a hard battle with not a lot between the drop zone and mid-table - a few choice results could turn the race inside out! Oh the excitement!
To have your say, simply comment on me blog with which teams you reckon are doomed!
I'll announce the results of the poll at the start of next week's blog.
And don't forget peeps that you can CONNECT, FOLLOW, SUBSCRIBE or JOIN the blogsite on any Social media platform you like. Go on - you know you want to!
See you soon peeps! If you see Gus, tell him the job centre's that way!

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