Monday 4 August 2014

The Grant Gurnhill football and mayhem blog.

Yayayayayayaya Toure is my dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Allegedly…peeps! Welcome back ta me awesome blog!
‘Tis me - Dobbie Savage - elf footieballroom pundit extraordinaire!

Tonight is the old transfer rumour mill and the bullshit it throws up - barrrrrf!!!!
Some of what you read here will be true; some will be speculation; the rest will probably be pure bollocks - but at least it’s honest bull! Wahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!
First, Remy back at QPR - yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn - bored already. He’s been linked with more teams than Jordan’s bin linked wi’ ex-husbands - just. Newcastle have finally signed Ferrero Roche - ah, but Monsieur Pulis, you spoil us…
Lampard’s now on loan with Pelican’s lot - good move methinks - they need a new tea-boy to play in the cup competitions.
Juventus are apparently letting La Isla Bonita go to QPR - what is it with Tony Fernandes (the dancer from CopaCoBananananana)? Just cos he starred in a Madonna video once…
Irvine is trying to strengthen at West Sandwich Albumen - maybe he needs to hire the Marines - that might help them in fighting relegation all season.
Mourinho believes Costa may be better than people expect - I never knew Jose Chelski took hellocigenics - Costa will struggle with the physicality of the Prem and his own propensity to explode when provoked and will spend more time sitting games out on the bench than Fernando Torrid.
Sam Allthedice - ‘we need more firepower’. Go genius! You don’t say?! Maybe you can afford to plunder Southampton…oh, wait - that’s been done. D’oh!
Balottelli to Ditherfool? My, they love their controversial strikers! Remember George Weah’s ‘cousin’? Greyham Sourness does…
Jack Rodwell from City to Blunderland? On the back of his glittering career since leaving the Toffees, he’s probably worth 8 to 9…quid.
And finally, Mourinho challenges Terry to repeat his performances of last season to keep his place. Watch out Jose - don’t leave your wife at home alone if you drop him. Just saying…
That’s the lot for tonight! Only a few weeks to go peeps and the proof really will be in the pudding…
Tata fo’ now!

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